Whisky’s Funniest and Most Unbelievable Stories

While I am partial to a good whisky review now and then, there’s something about the mythology and mystique surrounding whisky that I just find fascinating (as I’m sure you’ll have noticed if you’re a regular reader of the GreatDrams blogs).

The world of whisky is shrouded in mystery, much like whisky itself. Each time a fresh batch goes into a cask to mature, you never know exactly what sort of flavours and notes you’re going to get. That for me, is part of the excitement. It’s why the list of whisky tasting notes is virtually endless, and is testament to that old oak wisdom I enjoy talking about so much.

As the world is so serious at the moment, for today’s blog, I thought I’d take a bit more of a humorous and lighthearted look at whisky. Here are a few humorous and unbelievable whisky stories from across the world.

Oh, and just FYI, not every story I’ll be sharing with you today is guaranteed to be true.

The Flattened Dog

Don’t worry, this first story I have for you today is nowhere near as dramatic as the title would have you believe.

For those of you who are fond of a drop from The Balvenie, you may remember a dram they released called ‘The Tale of the Dog’. It turns out, that this tale is actually quite amusing, so I’m going to share it with you right now.

This particular dram got its name from former maltman, and Balvenie coppersmith Dennis McBain, who had been in the industry for decades. When he was just a wee coppersmith apprentice for the distillery, McBain was instructed by one of his supervisors to ‘flatten a dog’ for him. Naturally, he thought he was being wound up, before being handed a small copper pipe, and told to do his stuff.

It turns out, that the small copper pipe was known as a ‘dog’ and was designed to sample whisky directly from the casks. It’s smaller and more convenient than a valinch, though unfortunately, sometimes those using it would have, less than honourable intentions. The story goes that one of the distillery workers had been helping himself to more than a wee dram each day, and smuggling home his ill-gotten wares in this copper tube, or dog, as it was known. Concealed snugly in his jacket pocket.

The powers that be had obviously gotten wind of what was going on, which is why McBain was instructed to flatten the copper tube to prevent him from helping himself again. After doing as instructed, the pipe was then placed back into the thief’s jacket pocket as if nothing had happened.

Strictly for Medicinal Purposes

We all know how devastating prohibition was to the whisky/whiskey industry, not only in America, but across the world as well. Prohibition, which ran from 1920 to 1933, strictly banned all alcohol in America. That meant you couldn’t buy it, you couldn’t sell it, you couldn’t make it, and you couldn’t own it. If you were caught in possession of it, you faced a fine, legal action, and even a potential custodial sentence.

Because of this, distilleries were banned from shipping their whisky overseas. Most distilleries that is, other than a select few Islay distilleries, who were a little cheeky, and very creative with their product.

As you know, a number of Islay expressions have strong, medicinal flavours, such as iodine and menthol. It was these very flavour profiles which allowed the distilleries to capitalise and continue shipping their whisky overseas. Instead of marketing it as whisky, they instead marketed it as a “health tonic”.

Suddenly, Islay whisky could be legally prescribed by doctors in America, and wouldn’t you know, during that period a lot more people became sick. As it was labelled as a health tonic, it was said to treat a wide range of different illnesses and ailments. While in the States, even Winston Churchill had a doctor’s note which permitted the consumption of peated whisky, which was said to be Johnnie Walker Red Label, as it featured a smoky, peaty, herbal profile.

Smile and Say ‘Whiskey’ for the Camera?

You’ve heard of saying ‘cheese’ to the camera before having your picture taken, but did you know that in some Latin American countries, they actually say ‘whiskey’ instead of ‘cheese’?

In Mexico in particular, it is common for people to say ‘whiskey’ as they pose for photos. But why is this? Don’t get me wrong, whiskey is popular in Mexico, but tequila is still the drink of choice across the nation, so it’s not down to popularity.

The simple reason why they say ‘whiskey’ before a photo is because of the ‘ee’ sound at the end of the word, which causes the mouth and lips to form a smile. The Spanish word for ‘cheese’ is ‘queso’ which would cause the mouth to form an ‘o’ shape. Great for looking shocked on camera, not so great if you want a smiley, happy photo with the family.

See, I told you whisky made you smile!

St. Patrick, the Devil, and the Stingy Landlord

As I type this, it is currently St Patrick’s Day. That means that by the time you read this you’ll likely have already celebrated. If you did, then we here at GreatDrams hope you had an amazing time, are not too hungover, and got to sample some fantastic Irish drams (I know I did).

This final story is almost certainly not true, but it’s funny, and it’s my blog, so I’m including it.

The story goes that St. Patrick once happened upon an inn in the gorgeous Irish countryside and ordered a shot of Irish whiskey. Upon being served however, he was disgusted with the landlord. The shot he was served was far too small. The glass was barely half full! If the landlord would cheat him out of a proper shot of whiskey, he would almost certainly do it to his other customers too. Paddy was having none of it.

Patrick firmly scolded the landlord and told him that he had a devil or demon living in his cellar, feeding off of his greed and dishonesty. The greedier and more dishonest he was, the stronger the devil would become. He said that, eventually, the devil would come for his soul unless he changed his ways.

Naturally, the landlord was terrified and vowed to change. Sometime in the future, Patrick called into the inn to see if the landlord had kept his word. He was pleased to find that he had, and each shot of whiskey was overflowing to prevent the devil from returning.

Patrick proclaimed that the devil was no more, and was said to have celebrated with another shot. Slainte.

If you’d like to learn more about your favourite whiskies, or simply treat yourself to a dram or two in the process, head on over to GreatDrams.com and take a look at the diverse selection of unique whiskies we currently have in stock.

With an impressive selection of limited-edition, rare, and award-winning whisky, as well as heaps of whisky info on our blog, it’s the perfect spot for any whisky lovers out there.

Tags: Funniest StoriesUnbelievable StoriesWhisky

Greg

My name is Greg, and I’m a brand strategy consultant, writer, speaker, host and judge specialising in premium spirits. My mission is to experience, share and inspire with everything great about whisky, whiskey, gin, beer and fine dining through my writing, my brand building and my whisky tastings.