10 Ways to piss off a bartender

let’s begin

We all love bartenders. They make our lives exponentially better just by doing what they do. So in return, we’ve put together a little list of things we think we should all avoid doing, to make sure bartenders have a happy life as well.

1. “Can I have a scotch?”

Yes but what kind of Scotch? Which brand? Which region? And with ice or no?In a cocktail or straight up? Bartenders can’t read minds and there is more than one scotch brand in the world. If you don’t know, ask for recommendations at least.

2. Reaching across the bar

Don’t. Just don’t. That’s not where your hand should be, no matter what it is that you’re reaching for. Trying to pay? Put it in their hand. Pointing out a bottle? Say the name. Going for some fruit? Don’t. That’s not your fruit.

3. aDVISING

No one likes a back seat driver, so why would anyone like a back seat bartender? They know their shit, they don’t need you to be telling them all the fun facts you know about alcohol and mixology. And certainly don’t try to advise them on how to do their job. You wouldn’t tell your accountant how to do your taxes, so why tell a bartender how to do your drinks?

4. Sending drinks back for not being strong enough

Cocktails or mixers are made with measurements, not just carelessly throwing things in a glass. If you’re drink doesn’t appear to be strong enough you might want to check you’re not a functioning alcoholic. No one needs to always taste the alcohol to know its got alcohol in it.

5. making a mess

Clean up after yourself. Or better still, don’t make a mess in the first place. Do you find yourself tearing up straws and napkins? Making confetti out of coasters? Are you five years old? No? Then don’t do it.

6. Click your fingers

They see you. They hear you. They don’t need your fingers in the air clicking at them to get their attention. If the bar is busy, wait your turn and make eye contact, don’t wave your hand in the air like you’re a member of S Club 7.

7. Taking your time

Know what you want before you get to the bar. Bartenders are busy, they don’t want to be waiting around while you deliberate over which cocktail is right for you. And if you’re ordering for others, don’t forget mid order what they want. Write it down for goodness sake.

8.flirting

Public Service Announcement: Bartenders are not flirting with you when they’re nice. They’re literally doing their job.

9. Abandoning all your crap

Don’t leave all your shit on the bar when you go to the toilets. It is not a bartender’s responsibility to look after your stuff. This ties in nicely with point number 5. Mess includes all the crap you take out of your pockets. Don’t do it.

10. having a discussion

This isn’t such a hard and fast rule when a bar is empty and the bartender is clearly up for a bit of knowledge exchange. But please, please don’t think that a busy Friday night is the right time for you to whip out your Debaters Club credentials and have a chat about the right way to serve spirits.

What are your thoughts? Leave a comment below and let’s have a chat!

Tags: alcoholbarbartenderdrinksMixologyscotch

Greg

My name is Greg, and I’m a brand strategy consultant, writer, speaker, host and judge specialising in premium spirits. My mission is to experience, share and inspire with everything great about whisky, whiskey, gin, beer and fine dining through my writing, my brand building and my whisky tastings.